What some people think of as inevitable, others see as a challenge that can be overcome. You see a person might believe that failure is inevitable for him and so he resigns himself to an unsuccessful life. Unfortunately, this is precisely what millions of people actually do. Yet, the reality is that failure is not inevitable in anyone's life, so it's quite absurd to resign yourself to such a fate.

But what about things that really can't be changed? You might ask. Well, Ray Charles may have accepted his blindness, but he was able to overcome it and lead a meaningful, fulfilling life. In fact, he often said that he could "see" better than 99 percent of people who aren't blind. Ditto Christopher Reeve, Mattie Stepanek, and thousands of others who have endured major physical handicaps yet they have found the mental and physical strength to accomplish great things. In cases such as these, I believe Carnegie was absolutely right. By accepting the reality of their physical handicaps, these people were able to move on with their lives.

But then, this is also where it gets tricky. While Christopher Reeve accepted the reality of his handicap, he never accepted it as a permanent condition. He made it clear on several occasions that he believed he would ultimately walk again. Like most people, I was rooting for him, though I didn't believe it would ever happen.

The challenge here for us is to be able to determine what is and is not inevitable. When I refer to 'inevitable', I'm thinking of it in the future tense - as something that has not yet happened, whereas Carnegie seemed to be referring to the inevitable in the present tense. (It's already a fact of life, so learn to accept it.) Thus, I believe his oversimplification of the subject was a result of semantics.

Technically speaking, the only thing that is 100 percent certain to occur in the future is death. Frank Sinatra expressed his view of this certainty with typical candor when he said, "You better enjoy livin' baby, 'cause dying is a pain in the ass."

I wouldn't exactly compare Sinatra to Shakespeare, but he summed up perfectly the solution to dealing with the inevitability of death: Become so focused on life that you don't have time to think about what's coming next. When you direct your energy away from the inevitability of death, it paves the way for you to focus on constructive living. The least expensive medication for worry and stress is activity.

While death stands alone as the one fact of life that is truly inevitable, many other things are, shall we say, virtually inevitable. If you're going to worry about your investments, don't invest. Put your savings into tax-free bonds or hide your money under the mattress. So, yes, Dale Carnegie was right when he preached resignation of the inevitable - but just make certain you can differentiate between what's inevitable and what is not.

The reality is that most things can be overcome through a combination of being relentless, having an expansive mental paradigm (A system of assumptions, concepts, values, and practices that constitutes a way of viewing reality) that is open to possibilities that "normal" people consider to be impossible, and, especially, being conscious of your connection to the Conscious Universal Power (i.e., whatever spiritual force you believe in).

Any way you slice it, and whatever your spiritual beliefs may be, what it all boils down to is focusing on constructive thoughts that will improve your existence and the existence of your loved ones. It's okay to plan for the future, but worrying about the future gets in the way.

Above all, exerting mental energy to worry about the inevitable is hardly logical. If something is inevitable, there's nothing you can do about it. And if there's nothing you can do about it, what's the point in worrying?

Just make certain you don't apply the term "inevitable" to a situation that doesn't warrant it. As I pointed out, very few things in life are inevitable, and only one - death - is 100 percent certain. And since, as Sinatra put it, death is "a pain in the ass," who wants to spend time thinking about it?

A better idea is to try and exert your mental and physical energy in thinking about how to be the best parent you can possibly be, the best son or daughter you can possibly be, the best sibling you can possibly be, the best friend you can possibly be, the best employee or employer you can possibly be, and the best overall person you can possibly be. Which is a very tall order. So get to it! To kind caring and generally being nice,

muneeza ejaz